Psalm 46: 1
I have been
searching for something to write about; trying to find a way, a universal theme
to organize my thoughts. I teach 11th
grade Literature and we have been reading The
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. If
you know anything about that story, the two main characters are on a
journey. I have been discussing with my
students the purposes of the journeys we take, the motivations for them, and
the means of “traveling” along these journeys.
Both characters learn a lot about themselves, life, humanity, and they
both get to a point of humility and complete desperation. We discussed today that had it not been for
the journey itself, they would have never been equipped with the tools,
knowledge, or wisdom they ended up with.
They would never be prepared for the next phase of their lives. I can also speak from experience since I have
been humbled in several ways, been brought to the point of total desperation
and complete vulnerability throughout my life.
It’s funny, and I am certainly thankful, that these states seem to come
more frequently the more I learn and know about God. Complete desperation for God is a scary but
invigorating place to be. So am going to
try and put it all into some organized fashion and pray it makes sense.
Since humility
and desperation have been on the brain, I went to The Bible and read about people like Zacchaeus and Jonah. Man, do they have powerful stories. When I read about them and then looked at my
life, I’m reminded of something I heard one time. A preacher challenged his audience to turn
their “mess” into their “message”. When
I heard that, I thought, “Wow, what a perfect way to share God’s love, mercy,
and grace with other people.” After all,
that should be our message to the world and I, we, are walking billboards for grace—being given things we don’t
deserve, and mercy—not being given
what we do deserve. Too many times
though I miss the big picture. I miss my
chance to share my message because I am wrapped up in me. Well, the Lord has some interesting ways of
bringing me back. I will spare you the
details of ways He has humbled me and the details of my total points of
desperation.
With all
this being said, some of the things I have realized and am sharing with you
today I am totally stealing from someone else.
In addition to reading the bible stories, I went back through my notes
from sermons over the years. I found
some notes on this very topic. So, if
you are reading this and thinking it sounds very familiar, just know that God
used someone else to share His message and it stuck with me, so I’m sharing it
now in hopes it will stick with you.
First of
all, throughout our lives, we are all going to run out of someone or something
that is really important to us. When
those people or things run out, we become desperate. In my life, I have ran out of time, money, my
mother died when I was in my early twenties, my contact list of who I could
call ran out, people let me down, my knowledge ran out, and the list goes
on. In other words, when those
things/people ran out I was desperate for something to put the pieces back
together. I was broken. I was once reading about Peter in a book
called One Way Love by Tullian
Tchividjian about the time Jesus had returned and kept calling him Simon, his
old name to remind him of his identity outside of Christ. After Jesus had changed his name to Peter, we
would expect him to be so holy and almost the “perfect Christian”. Unfortunately, Peter went on to fail big
time. No doubt he also did many things
for the kingdom of Heaven as well. But
one of the greatest reminders here is that even after he failed and even after
he was stripped of all pride there before his Lord, Jesus still chose to give him
more responsibility. The wonderful truth
about Jesus and doing His work is that He doesn’t need perfect vessels to
accomplish His will. He needs broken
ones—men and women who have been slain, humiliated, disillusioned of all their
“I can do it, really I can!,” “Just give me a little more time and some secret
steps” Self-deception. Which leads me to
my (or someone else’s) next pointJ
Secondly,
desperation isn’t always a bad thing.
Desperation causes us to seek out a solution. When someone or something runs out, we are
forced to call upon the One who can deliver us.
Have you ever been so hungry, almost to the point of hangry? That point where in your mind if you don’t
get something to eat soon, destruction is inevitable? Only to go to the pantry or refrigerator and
realize you haven’t been to the grocery store in what looks like two
months! What a horrible feeling! When that happens, I immediately start
scrounging around, piecing together parts of anything I can to try and create
something fulfilling. Or I just get in
the car and go to Chick-Fil-A. The point
is when we get desperate enough, we make a change. We find the solution. We go to the source of
fulfillment. I love to read about Jonah
and hear his desperate prayer from the belly of a whale and Mary and Martha’s
desperate plea for their brother to be healed.
Think about Hannah and her desperate prayer for a son and Zacchaeus
being desperate enough to climb up in a tree just to see Jesus. These were all desperate people looking to
God for a solution, and He changed their lives.
Who or what
do we look to besides God for our solution?
I mentioned talking about Huck Finn and his journey. Huck was on his journey because he was trying
to escape something. Floating down a
river on a raft was his solution. In
class, we discussed the different solutions people use or go to in order to
escape or go along their journey. Some
people find their solution in drugs, alcohol, running away, denial, work,
vacation, books, eating, sleeping, and so on.
Why isn’t God the first one we automatically run to? When my husband Craig and I were trying to
get pregnant several years ago, we had been to all the different doctors, tried
all kinds of medicine and tactics, researched, talked to people with similar
situations, you name it. We finally had
exhausted all our resources and were at a point of desperation when He revealed
to us that there were no more tests that could be done, there was nobody we
could call, but call on Him. It was then
that He finally had our undivided attention and we knew that He was calling us
to adopt. Thankfully, God didn’t condemn
us for not running to Him first, but just like for Peter, He was there still
waiting on us with open arms to put the pieces back together and to give us
more responsibility. He wasn’t finished
with us yet no matter how hopeless we felt.
Without that journey which ended in humility and desperation we would
have no Drew.
When
desperation causes us to come to the end of ourselves, God then has room to
begin a powerful work in our life! If
you ever wonder why you are on the journey you’re on, remember God wants to use
your “mess” and turn it into the “message” you share with others. Without Jonah finally becoming desperate for
God, many souls would have perished. If Hannah had never become desperate and
called on God, there would be no Samuel.
If Zacchaeus had never been desperate enough to climb a tree to see
Jesus, he would have remained a thief.
I’m appalled to think of where I would be or who I would be now if I had
never called on Him. Thankfully, that is
where the grace and mercy of God rescues us and changes us.
There are
verses upon verses I could put below for encouragement, reminders, etc. What I have found over the last couple of
months is that sometimes I can’t find the words to even begin to explain how I’m
feeling or fearing. If you find yourself
without the words, Hannah’s prayer might be of some use. God heard…God worked!
Hannah’s prayer: 1
Samuel 2: 1-10
2 And Hannah prayed, and said, My heart rejoiceth in the Lord, mine horn is exalted in the Lord: my mouth is enlarged over mine
enemies; because I rejoice in thy salvation.
2 There is none holy as the Lord: for there is none beside thee:
neither is there any rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of
your mouth: for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and
by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty men are broken, and they that stumbled
are girded with strength.
5 They that were full have hired out themselves for bread; and
they that were hungry ceased: so that the barren hath born seven; and she
that hath many children is waxed feeble.
6 The Lord killeth, and maketh alive:
he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up.
7 The Lord maketh poor, and maketh
rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up.
8 He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the
beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit
the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and he hath set the world
upon them.
9 He will keep the feet of his saints, and the wicked shall be
silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon
them: the Lord shall judge the ends of
the earth; and he shall give strength unto his king, and exalt the horn of
his anointed.
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