Seasons Part I: Ode to Room 225...

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ² A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; ³ A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; ⁴ A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; ⁵ A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ⁶ A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; ⁷ A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; ⁸ A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

Last Friday was the last day of school.  The last day that students will come in and out of my classroom, room 225, at Locust Grove High School.  I just finished my eleventh year of teaching, and while they have all been great learning experiences, none have been quite like the last five.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 truly applies to all my years of teaching but especially to my time at LGHS.  As I pack up my things from my classroom, I can’t help but reflect back over all that has happened inside these four walls.  I feel that while at LGHS, I grew more as a person, spiritually and emotionally.  I grew as a teacher, friend, leader, mentor, and even as a wife and mom.  As I look back over my experiences in room 225, I can see, and am thankful, for the different seasons God has allowed me to experience.  I think I’ve experienced them all in some form or fashion! 

I was hired at LGHS to teach 11^th and 12^th grade English.  I love analyzing and dissecting a poem or a novel.  I love it when a student finally makes the connections between a metaphor or symbol from the story to real life.  I also love it when they finally realize where to put commas or the difference between “your” and “you’re”.  I have had the privilege of teaching, shepherding, close to 1,000 students over the last five years.  Many of them I taught more than once—some by way of luck and others because of a failed attempt at the first round, so a second round was necessary:)  The truth is, while I’d like to think that most, if not all, of my students learned something during their time in room 225 whether it be about English or life, room 225 definitely taught me a few things. 

Some of the lessons I learned are:

v  I’m not always going to have the answer or be able to fix every situation.

v  It’s not about test scores.  It’s about the relationships that are formed and how we treat each other as members of society.

v  I don’t just exist to teach English.  I exist for a much greater purpose. 

v  It’s ok to make mistakes.

v  It’s important to ask the tough questions and more importantly to listen when they are being answered.

v  Showing up to work every day is not to earn a pay check, it is because someone needs me and is depending on me.

v  Some of the most basic human needs are to be loved, included, needed, and pursued. 

v  My students (my kids as I usually call them) are extensions of Jesus, so I better think twice before I react or treat them as anything less than that.

v  To truly have authority, I must remain humble as if I had no authority at all.

v  To be a real leader, I must serve every day.

When I arrived on my first day at LGHS, room 225 was a typical classroom.  It was a simple four white walls, thirty-five desks, a pencil sharpener, a white board, and a cold tile floor.  It is safe to say that this is no longer a typical classroom.  You see, besides the typical school activities such as group work, essays, vocabulary sessions, note cards and papers being left on the floor, books being left under desks, student work on the walls, and pencil sharpener shavings gathered on the floor, so much more went on in this room.  Learning took place, but not always the pencil and paper kind of learning.  On many days, in the midst of the sound of bells and shuffling in the hallways, prayers were said, tears were cried, hearts were broken and healed.  Wounds were shared, defenses were let down, and Truth was let in.  I had the privilege of sharing Truth and the saving Grace of Jesus with several students.  I had the privilege of praying for them as they wept because they were terrified of what was going to happened next.  I was able to rejoice with them when they were accepted into college or were asked to prom.  I had the honor of showing and teaching them God’s Word and how it, more than anything else they learned in high school, if applied to life correctly would change their lives. 

Over the years, room 225 was the stage for many seasons of laughter, second chances, team work, silliness, pranks, counseling sessions, safety, tears, new experiences, and many “ah ha” moments, and many seasons of life for not only me but my kids too! 

To highlight a few:

I became a mom, twice, while occupying room 225, which means that my students have been on the adoption journey with me.  They laughed with me, some even cried with me, and rejoiced with me as we welcomed both our babies into our family.  My kids have close to 1,000 big brothers and sisters. 

Room 225 has even been a place of mourning the loss of three students who once occupied desks in that very room.  It also quickly became a place of consoling and healing. 

I followed God’s leading Spirit and planted a new club at LGHS called The Sophisticated Ladies club.  God gave me a heart for teens, but for teen girls especially.  Around my second year at LGHS, I felt God calling me to do more.  The club was designed to remind them and help them find not only who they are but whose they are.  So many opportunities were birthed out of this calling.  Several girls even came to know the Lord as their own personal Savior.  If no kid ever passed another one of my tests, it didn’t matter.  This was all that mattered.  Several girls’ lives changed in room 225 because of decisions they made, maturing they went through, and bonds that were formed.  Mentoring, leading, helping shape young women into what God called them to be was my true passion, and room 225 was the place I discovered this passion and the place where on any given Thursday at a club meeting 20-70 girls gathered to learn whose they are.     

Room 225 was also a place for seasons of tough love.  It was a place of compassion and acceptance, no doubt, but there were plenty of “not so lovely” conversations I had with my kids.  When teaching, there must be a balance of breaking down their will but building them back up.  In many situations, I know I could have handled things differently, and I no doubt learned from every one.  Through those times, I learned how to have a backbone and go with my “momma” instinct when it says, “I know you don’t like it but, it is in your best interest, trust me.”  No kid, especially ones that aren’t yours, likes to hear that!  A simple, “I believe in you” and a hug can go a long way too! 

Every Monday, we did something called “highs” and “lows”.  It was a chance for the kids to share the good and/or the bad from the weekend.  Some Mondays were light-hearted with a funny story here and there, and some were days where we rallied around someone and ether cheered them on or simply said, "I’m sorry and we’ll be praying."  

We even danced in room 225.  Some dancing was due to a dare here and there, but sometimes it was just because we were happy.  It was nothing for a group to break out into song during class either. 

You know that sound when it’s quiet all around and then out of nowhere a loud sound of laughing, I mean really laughing, by a big group of people is heard????  The kind that made you want to know what was so funny?  That is how we laughed in room 225.  What all we laughed about was a wide range, but we laughed nonetheless.   

Proud moments came out of room 225.  Probably my proudest moments were when I sat listening to my students read the memoir they had written in my class.  They had spent time discovering and rehashing their past, who they are, what they believe, etc.  Many of them couldn’t even read aloud because of the tears streaming down their faces or from laughing too hard, depending on what part of their story they were in.  For many of them, it was the first time they had shared their story.  It was the first time they had really embraced  the moments of their life.  I remember thinking “This is it.  This is why I do what I do!”  I was proud because they were starting to get it too.  They were starting to see how all the seasons and experiences in their short lives were starting to add up and equal something of a bigger purpose. 

The reason last Friday was my last day at LGHS is because I am moving on to a new school, on to a new season.  I will still be teaching and getting to do what I love, but it will be different.  Not only have I grown to love my kids, I have grown to love the community of Locust Grove, and more importantly, I love the staff at LGHS.  I can honestly say the staff at LGHS is a fabulous group of people.  I say goodbye to kids all the time, but I’ve never had to say goodbye to these co-workers because I knew in eight short weeks, we’d all be back in our places ready to shape the next group of young minds together.  I will miss the random drop-ins from co-workers who just want to talk or say hey.  I’ll miss the planning period strolls outside just to warm up because the building is freezing.  I’ll miss the oh so eclectic conversations and laughing until we cried moments during lunch.  I’ll miss all being in one room together as a team during faculty meetings.  I’ll miss the comfort of knowing who I’ll see when I walk up and down the hallways and the smiles as we pass while checking our mailboxes.  I’ll miss the love and support each of them had for me, my husband, and my sweet babies.  Just like my students, the faculty of LGHS, has been a part of my journey.  We were able to talk about life, not just school stuff, and I appreciate that.  I appreciate knowing that I don’t just work with people who are there to punch a time clock, but they actually care about me as a person.  That dynamic is hard to find, and I’m eternally grateful for the Lord placing me at LGHS. 

All this change got me to thinking.  You see, LGHS is comfortable.  The future, change itself, is uncomfortable.  Most people don’t like change.  Whether it’s a change in personnel, a procedure, a rule, or just they style of something, there is always hesitation. 

As I thought about change, and no doubt we all experience it, I thought about the verse above.  We go through different seasons in life.  We can’t be sad all the time; there is a season for sadness.  We won’t be laughing all the time.  There will be seasons of laughter but also seasons of mourning or growth.  You may be going through a change of seasons right now, but instead of dreading it, embrace it. 

I heard someone speak on this verse and put it in the context of change. Isaiah 43:18-19 says, “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

What is this verse saying when it comes to change?

1.       Don’t dwell on the past—even if it was a good past, there are still great things ahead.  If it was a bad past, there are definitely better things ahead!

2.       “Behold…”—Don’t miss it!  God is trying to get our attention.  If we are too busy dwelling on the past or being afraid of the future, we might miss the big change!

3.       “I will even make a way…”—Change is a process, not a destination.  Let go and grab hold of a new opportunity!  God won’t lead you to it, if He doesn’t plan to lead you through it!

I’m sad that things have to change and I have to leave the fabulous-ness of Locust Grove High School.  I know that God has many great things planned for LGHS and many great ways He wants to use the people of LGHS.  I am so excited about the new season and future at Hampton High school.  I know that God has me going there "for such a time as this"!  I welcome the challenges, changes, and opportunities awaiting me.  More than anything, I can’t wait to find out my room number!  I can’t wait to walk into those “four walls” and see what all will take place.  Thank you Lord for room 225 at LGHS, and thank you Lord for 
room    ?     at HHS!  

Don't Stop Believin'...

Jeremiah 33:3 “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.”

Psalm 46: 1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

I have been searching for something to write about; trying to find a way, a universal theme to organize my thoughts.  I teach 11^th grade Literature and we have been reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.  If you know anything about that story, the two main characters are on a journey.  I have been discussing with my students the purposes of the journeys we take, the motivations for them, and the means of “traveling” along these journeys.  Both characters learn a lot about themselves, life, humanity, and they both get to a point of humility and complete desperation.  We discussed today that had it not been for the journey itself, they would have never been equipped with the tools, knowledge, or wisdom they ended up with.  They would never be prepared for the next phase of their lives.  I can also speak from experience since I have been humbled in several ways, been brought to the point of total desperation and complete vulnerability throughout my life.  It’s funny, and I am certainly thankful, that these states seem to come more frequently the more I learn and know about God.  Complete desperation for God is a scary but invigorating place to be.  So am going to try and put it all into some organized fashion and pray it makes sense. 

Since humility and desperation have been on the brain, I went to The Bible and read about people like Zacchaeus and Jonah.  Man, do they have powerful stories.  When I read about them and then looked at my life, I’m reminded of something I heard one time.  A preacher challenged his audience to turn their “mess” into their “message”.  When I heard that, I thought, “Wow, what a perfect way to share God’s love, mercy, and grace with other people.”  After all, that should be our message to the world and I, we, are walking billboards for grace—being given things we don’t deserve, and mercy—not being given what we do deserve.  Too many times though I miss the big picture.  I miss my chance to share my message because I am wrapped up in me.  Well, the Lord has some interesting ways of bringing me back.  I will spare you the details of ways He has humbled me and the details of my total points of desperation. 

With all this being said, some of the things I have realized and am sharing with you today I am totally stealing from someone else.  In addition to reading the bible stories, I went back through my notes from sermons over the years.  I found some notes on this very topic.  So, if you are reading this and thinking it sounds very familiar, just know that God used someone else to share His message and it stuck with me, so I’m sharing it now in hopes it will stick with you.

First of all, throughout our lives, we are all going to run out of someone or something that is really important to us.  When those people or things run out, we become desperate.  In my life, I have ran out of time, money, my mother died when I was in my early twenties, my contact list of who I could call ran out, people let me down, my knowledge ran out, and the list goes on.  In other words, when those things/people ran out I was desperate for something to put the pieces back together.  I was broken.  I was once reading about Peter in a book called One Way Love by Tullian Tchividjian about the time Jesus had returned and kept calling him Simon, his old name to remind him of his identity outside of Christ.  After Jesus had changed his name to Peter, we would expect him to be so holy and almost the “perfect Christian”.  Unfortunately, Peter went on to fail big time.  No doubt he also did many things for the kingdom of Heaven as well.  But one of the greatest reminders here is that even after he failed and even after he was stripped of all pride there before his Lord, Jesus still chose to give him more responsibility.  The wonderful truth about Jesus and doing His work is that He doesn’t need perfect vessels to accomplish His will.  He needs broken ones—men and women who have been slain, humiliated, disillusioned of all their “I can do it, really I can!,” “Just give me a little more time and some secret steps” Self-deception.  Which leads me to my (or someone else’s) next pointJ 

Secondly, desperation isn’t always a bad thing.  Desperation causes us to seek out a solution.  When someone or something runs out, we are forced to call upon the One who can deliver us.  Have you ever been so hungry, almost to the point of hangry?  That point where in your mind if you don’t get something to eat soon, destruction is inevitable?  Only to go to the pantry or refrigerator and realize you haven’t been to the grocery store in what looks like two months!  What a horrible feeling!  When that happens, I immediately start scrounging around, piecing together parts of anything I can to try and create something fulfilling.  Or I just get in the car and go to Chick-Fil-A.  The point is when we get desperate enough, we make a change.  We find the solution. We go to the source of fulfillment.  I love to read about Jonah and hear his desperate prayer from the belly of a whale and Mary and Martha’s desperate plea for their brother to be healed.  Think about Hannah and her desperate prayer for a son and Zacchaeus being desperate enough to climb up in a tree just to see Jesus.  These were all desperate people looking to God for a solution, and He changed their lives. 

Who or what do we look to besides God for our solution?  I mentioned talking about Huck Finn and his journey.  Huck was on his journey because he was trying to escape something.  Floating down a river on a raft was his solution.  In class, we discussed the different solutions people use or go to in order to escape or go along their journey.  Some people find their solution in drugs, alcohol, running away, denial, work, vacation, books, eating, sleeping, and so on.  Why isn’t God the first one we automatically run to?  When my husband Craig and I were trying to get pregnant several years ago, we had been to all the different doctors, tried all kinds of medicine and tactics, researched, talked to people with similar situations, you name it.  We finally had exhausted all our resources and were at a point of desperation when He revealed to us that there were no more tests that could be done, there was nobody we could call, but call on Him.  It was then that He finally had our undivided attention and we knew that He was calling us to adopt.  Thankfully, God didn’t condemn us for not running to Him first, but just like for Peter, He was there still waiting on us with open arms to put the pieces back together and to give us more responsibility.  He wasn’t finished with us yet no matter how hopeless we felt.  Without that journey which ended in humility and desperation we would have no Drew. 

When desperation causes us to come to the end of ourselves, God then has room to begin a powerful work in our life!  If you ever wonder why you are on the journey you’re on, remember God wants to use your “mess” and turn it into the “message” you share with others.  Without Jonah finally becoming desperate for God, many souls would have perished.   If Hannah had never become desperate and called on God, there would be no Samuel.  If Zacchaeus had never been desperate enough to climb a tree to see Jesus, he would have remained a thief.  I’m appalled to think of where I would be or who I would be now if I had never called on Him.  Thankfully, that is where the grace and mercy of God rescues us and changes us. 

There are verses upon verses I could put below for encouragement, reminders, etc.  What I have found over the last couple of months is that sometimes I can’t find the words to even begin to explain how I’m feeling or fearing.  If you find yourself without the words, Hannah’s prayer might be of some use.  God heard…God worked!

Hannah’s prayer: 1 Samuel 2: 1-10 2 And Hannah prayed, and said, My heart rejoiceth in the Lord, mine horn is exalted in the Lord: my mouth is enlarged over mine enemies; because I rejoice in thy salvation. 2 There is none holy as the Lord: for there is none beside thee: neither is there any rock like our God. 3 Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed. 4 The bows of the mighty men are broken, and they that stumbled are girded with strength. 5 They that were full have hired out themselves for bread; and they that were hungry ceased: so that the barren hath born seven; and she that hath many children is waxed feeble. 6 The Lord killeth, and maketh alive: he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up. 7 The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up. 8 He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and he hath set the world upon them. 9 He will keep the feet of his saints, and the wicked shall be silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man prevail. 10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon them: the Lord shall judge the ends of the earth; and he shall give strength unto his king, and exalt the horn of his anointed.

God is Able...

Ephesians 3:20 ^“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us…”

            I was reminded of this verse recently, and I love this verse not only because it has proven true in my own life but because of how exciting the promises of the verse are.  Many times we nonchalantly say, myself included, “God has a plan”, “God will work it out”, “God is able to overcome any situation.”  While all these statements are so incredibly true and we offer them with the intention of comfort, our actions and behavior sometimes represent the exact opposite.  My friends, God is able to fix, heal, do, finish, work, give, and much more than you or I could ever dream of.  Now, we just need to start acting like it!

            I heard Beth Moore speak recently about Joseph.  I went to Genesis and re-read the story of Joseph, and man, if anyone had a reason to doubt or feel sorry for himself, Joseph did.  We learn that Joseph was a victim of harsh treatment.  He was kidnapped, sold as a slave more than once, falsely accused, and put into prison…and much of this by his own family!  Through it all Joseph remained faithful in believing that God was able to deliver him from his hardships.  I ask you today—what are your hardships?  What areas are you the victim?  What areas are you misunderstood?  What areas of your life consume you and have made you a slave to them?  Is it family?  Your job?  A relationship?  A friend or loved one who has turned from you and God?  Is it an obsession or an insecurity that you are addicted to?  The list goes on.  I would venture to say that we all have something in our lives where we are wondering if even God is able to conquer it.

I decided to break down Ephesians 3:20 to really see what God wants us to know.  First of all, take the word now.  Now…not tomorrow, not after (fill in the blank), not when the stars align…now is the time to start believing that God is able.  God is able at any time but we must choose to believe. 

The next word, able.  Able means ability; having the power, skill, means, or opportunity to do something.  If we believe all of God’s Word and He wrote it, then we should believe He has the ability to conquer whatever it is.  He wrote the instructions on how to accomplish things.  He is the power that makes anything possible. 

Now to my favorite part, the words exceedingly, abundantly, above.  I love these words because so many times we limit ourselves to thinking, “if I could just get this”, or “if this would just happen” everything in my life would be perfect.  What we forget is if we received everything or if plans went according to our perfect dreams, life might seem perfect in our tiny little minds, but that “perfect” life still wouldn’t even touch all that God has planned for us if we would just let Him…or better yet believe Him. 

Take the word exceed.  This word means to an advanced or unusual degree or to go beyond an expectation.  We should know this about our God that He doesn’t do anything that is limited or usual.  He doesn’t just meet expectations, He is and goes beyond the expectation. 

Abundantly means fullness to overflowing; more than adequate; over-sufficient.  I love how He chose to use this word to remind us that He doesn’t just give us exactly what we need, He gives us an overflow of exactly what we need.  He doesn’t ration out his power.  He gives and when we think we are full, He keeps on giving.  Just like Grandma forces us to eat her good cookin’.  She is trying to “fatten” us up.  I wonder if God ever says, “Carey I’m just trying to fatten you up on my good stuff!” 

The last word in this great phrase is above.  If God will go beyond our expectations (exceedingly) by giving us more than we could imagine (abundantly) then why wouldn’t we expect Him to take it one step further and go to an extended space; go above our heads (above).  I have sat in many conversations where the content was just way “over my head”.  I couldn’t grasp it.  I think it’s no coincidence that God is able to go so far above my head.  And by the way, the further above our head, the closer to glory He is.  Anything we can wrap our heads around, we tend to take the credit for.  But God steps in and says that He is going to do something that there is no way anyone would ever believe you or I had a hand in.  The glory is mine, He says! 

The last part of the verse says, according to the power that worketh in us.  If we are child of God, if we believe in His holy and precious name, then we have His power within us to overcome, conquer, and rise above anything in our lives. 

Part of His power is to help us forget.  Forgetting something that someone has said and done to you is hard and requires a great deal of humility.  If you’re not willing to humble yourself to forgive and forget, then you’re not ready for God to go exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you ask of Him.    Take Joseph for instance.  Despite all that he had been through, Joseph let God’s power help him forget.  Genesis 41:51 says,^” And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house.”  He names is first son Manasseh which means forgetting.  It is so refreshing to know that Joseph did not live in the past.  He did not let his past make him a slave to insecurity, revenge, or a hard heart.  If he had, then he would have missed all that God was going to do in his life.  Because God’s power allowed him to forget, he became fruitful.    Genesis 41:52 says, “And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.”  Ephraim means just that, fruitful.  It is a fear of mine that I will not make the most of what God gives me.  I fear that too many of us hold on to past hurts and our afflictions that we are not able to be fruitful.  God’s power within us allows us to be fruitful no matter what our afflictions are.  Joseph, just as we should, learned to cherish the blessings of the present.  If we would stop to see all that we do have right in front of us we would be humbled with shame for ever whining about what happened or didn’t happen in the past.  We spend so much time looking back that we can’t even recognize the presence of God right now.  We miss His hand on the situation right now.  We ignore His purpose in allowing our suffering right now.   

            I believe the most profound thing about the way Joseph lived his life was that in the midst of his affliction he believed God was able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that he could have ever asked or thought.  You and I will fall into one of two categories. 

We will choose to say we believe God is able but not let our actions/words reflect it.  We will never forgive, never forget, not show humility, not be fruitful and prosperous, and we’ll drag God’s name and reputation down with every complaint about “our afflictions”. 

We will choose to say we believe God is able and actually live like we believe.  We will always forgive, forget, show humility no matter what, and we will be fruitful in telling others about how good God is despite our afflictions.  We will lift His name, power, and ability to conquer all that life throws at us with behavior and an attitude that says, “I’m going to praise Him no matter what!” 

Obviously the second choice is much more difficult.  But, according to the power within us it is possible.  Again, if we were able to forgive, forget, be humble, and be fruitful on our own, then we wouldn’t need God.   

My Mighty Warrior...

Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong , fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you. Isaiah 35: 3-4

   
     I love music!  It is so powerful and can channel so many emotions, bring realities to light, change attitudes, and remind us of things.  One song in particular I have sort of dubbed as my theme song is, "So I Can Just Be Me", by Laura Story.  The words of that song are often the cry of my heart.  I view the words of this song as a woman's breaking point.  The point where she surrenders to complete vulnerability and reliance on God.  You can almost hear the desperation as she is pleading for God to rescue her, to be her warrior.  As a woman, a wife, and a mom, I put certain expectations on myself that only end up making me feel like I'm trying to run someone else's race.  I sometimes even look at what I'm focusing my time and attention on and realize that "this isn't me"...it might be good for the person I am trying so hard to be like, but not me.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that "envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide."  If God wanted two of the same women, He would have made two of the same women.  But He made only one me.  I often compare myself to other women, moms, and wives.  The intent is to find encouragement and motivation, but I'm often left with an anxious and inadequate feeling.  I also love Pinterest!  I want to be every woman on Pinterest.  I want to cook every meal, make every craft, have every room in my house decorated just like the pictures on there, and do all the activities with Craig and Drew that it suggests.  What did I ever cook before it?  How did I plan a party before it?  How did I create memories before it?  Guess what?  Before Pinterest, my family never missed a meal (might not have always been appetizing), and we have made some of the sweetest memories.  My point is this--when I spend time trying to be the best at something, then I'm missing great opportunities to be the wife, mom, and woman God intended.  I find it hard to believe that when He created me, He said, "Wow, Carey will really reach her peak and be all I want her to be as soon as she discovers Pinterest!"  These expectations I put on myself just like I'm sure many other women do, are self-created or deemed "normal" in our society.  Last time I checked, God calls us to be different and not like everyone else anyway.  He also commands us to rely on Him for the strength to "reach our peak".  


     "I've been doing all that I can to hold it all together piece by piece. I've been feeling like a failure, trying to be braver than I could ever be.  It's just not me" are words from the song that I mentioned that I believe are at the core of most women.  Many women are tired, unfulfilled, and still searching for joy.  In our society, we often use the term "Superwoman" to describe women who do it all...or at least try to do it all.  These superwomen seem to have it all together: a perfectly decorated house, fresh baked cookies straight out of the oven, no messes, laundry up to date, has enough time to prepare dinner, saves stranded animals on the side of the road, and so on.  These things are possible with God's help but can sometimes be exhausting.  I decided to look up "Superwoman" and where she came from, and really just what her "story" is.  Here is what I found out and how I think it can apply to the Modern-day superwomen?  I know I'm using a comic character to make a point here but just go with it.  I find it so neat to learn that:


A. She wasn't born with super powers.  She gained them from a blood transfusion from Superman.  His power enabled her to act as Superwoman.  She was completely dependent on Him.  You and I have the opportunity to gain the Lord's power through His blood.  We can't be the wife, mom, or woman He intended if we don't have His power.  We must first believe in the blood He shed on the cross for us.  Through faith, we must rely and depend on Him only.  

B. After her creation, some fraudulent magicians cast a "spell" on her making her believe she was more powerful than she really was.  We have "fraudulent magicians" running around our towns, workplaces, sitting behind computer screens, social media, and even churches.  These things and even people give us a false hope that we are something or are supposed to be something that was not intended by our creator.  Her background says that Superwoman briefly sported the costume of Superman until she was eventually broken.  Of all that we are busy doing and trying to be, are we modeling His "wardrobe"?  Are we showing off His grace, mercy, love, patience, forgiveness, etc?  Or are we pretending?  My friends, we can only pretend for so long before we break.  Broken is a great place to be by the way.  Being broken means that someone, "our Superman" will be there to rescue us and pick up the pieces.  We need Him to be our King, our comfort, our Healer so that we can be free to be "us".   

C.   The powers she did receive, in all the stories, eventually faded.  All of the things, crafts, hobbies, tasks, etc. that we are busy with, that we think are fulfilling us, will fade.  Only one thing remains...His love.  His power.  His ability to take nothing and make something.  

D.  During her adventures with her new powers, she was wooed by two super-humans and was captured.  We need to beware of those seeking to "woo" us.  Not just people but things too, obsessions.  What do you obsess over?  Don't let any obsession other than an obsession for God woo you because it will capture you.  When it captures you, your "superpowers" will eventually fade.  These situations have a funny way of humbling us and again bringing us to the place of complete dependence on Him.  

    My favorite words from the song are when she calls out for God to be her "mighty warrior".  What do all women, or at least the ones I run with, want?  We want to be rescued.  We want someone to fight for us and for our honor. Too many times we either try to fight our own fight and/or we focus our time and attention on someone who is incapable of fighting for us.  A warrior is brave, heroic, protective, and wild.  The God I serve is Wild at Heart (this is a book by John Eldredge all men and women should read, by the way).  Many times I look to my husband, Craig, to be my warrior.  If you know him, he is a fighter, a leader, and is passionate about God, football, and me...not necessarily in that order.  He would go to battle for me in a second.  He loves, well sometimes tolerates, it when I cry, bear my burdens, and express my need for him.  He has a warrior heart.  He fights and wins many battles for me but he is still human and as much as he tries, he'll never be the warrior that God is for me.  Our choir sings the song that reiterates, Isaiah 35:3-4 "Your God will Come.  Your God will come with a vengeance."  The God I serve, while meek and mild, He is passionate for me.  He wants to fight for me and longs for intimacy with me.  When there is nobody capable to fight for you, God is your warrior.  He is on the front lines protecting, serving, and defending you.  From Revelation 19 we are reminded that He is the Lord of hosts, the captain of the angel armies, and when Christ returns, He will be mounted on a white horse, with a double-edged sword, his robe dipped in blood.  There is something fierce about the heart of God.  

     Life can be overwhelming, especially during the holidays.  My encouragement to you is don't try to be a Superwoman.  Let God fill you with His Spirit and Power.  He will let you know what to do, when and how to do it.  Seek Him and He'll reveal Himself to you.  Let Him be your warrior.

Merry CHRISTmas

Connecting the dots...

    With the Thanksgiving holiday on the horizon, most of us are caused to stop long enough and share what we are thankful for.  No doubt that giving thanks and praise to our Lord should be a daily, many times daily, occurrence.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case because our daily routines and normalcy's of life are things we have come to expect, myself included.  This time of year is extra sweet and special at our house because it marks the anniversary date of which we received our first baby, Andrew.  We adopted him in October of 2011, so the feelings and emotions run wild this time of year as we so often look back to our placement day and our first holiday season with him.  Each year I write Drew a letter that we keep in a folder and will give him on his eighteenth birthday.  The letter usually includes the sweet memories of the past year, new things he has learned to do, as well as my favorite things about being his mom.  This year as I was trying to decide what to write to him, I kept coming back to the phrase, "God is so good."  I knew that if He never learns anything else from me, that is the one thing I want him to know.  So, I tried the best I could to tell him.       
     The morning of his second placement date I went for a run.  One of the songs that came on my ipod was "Mighty to Save".  I was brought to tears as I thought about how not only did He save me from my own self and an eternity without Him, but how He saved Drew.  Only God can take so many hearts from all over the country and knit them together the way he has ours, Drew's, and his sweet birth-mother's hearts.  Only God can open of the heart of a young girl to act in the most unselfish way by choosing a life for her baby boy that she knew he deserved a chance at but wasn't ready to give him.  Only God can use someone that fails Him daily and still allow her to serve Him every day.  Only God can love so much that He would choose me to be the mom of this sweet little treasure and what I believe is a little glimpse of Heaven.  He could have chosen anyone, but He chose me.  I have always known that Jesus loves me.  We sing about it as children, teach our kids to sing it, but do we truly know it and believe it?  The same God who created the moon and sun, healed the sick, walked on water, defeated death, and is alive today knows our names.  If you are still breathing and if you are reading this crummy blog right now, then He knows you, He loves you, and He has a plan for you.  He is so good!
     I am completely humbled and thankful at the fact that I could mean that much to anyone.  God has a plan for my sweet Drew and for me as his mom.  He didn't owe me a child, but somewhere in His vast plan He saw the two of us and knew we could accomplish so much more together than we could separately for His glory.  I can almost see Him looking down and drawing a line with His finger as if He was connecting the dots of our two faces.  Only God can do that.  God is looking down on you today and is connecting your "dot" with another...with many more "dots".  I am thankful as we all should be that God hasn't given up on us.  I'm thankful that His plan is far higher and better than I could ever dream.  Let Him be your God and guide...so you can just be the you that He so thoughtfully and purposefully made.