Tuesday, December 10, 2013

My Mighty Warrior...

Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong , fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you. Isaiah 35: 3-4

   
     I love music!  It is so powerful and can channel so many emotions, bring realities to light, change attitudes, and remind us of things.  One song in particular I have sort of dubbed as my theme song is, "So I Can Just Be Me", by Laura Story.  The words of that song are often the cry of my heart.  I view the words of this song as a woman's breaking point.  The point where she surrenders to complete vulnerability and reliance on God.  You can almost hear the desperation as she is pleading for God to rescue her, to be her warrior.  As a woman, a wife, and a mom, I put certain expectations on myself that only end up making me feel like I'm trying to run someone else's race.  I sometimes even look at what I'm focusing my time and attention on and realize that "this isn't me"...it might be good for the person I am trying so hard to be like, but not me.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that "envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide."  If God wanted two of the same women, He would have made two of the same women.  But He made only one me.  I often compare myself to other women, moms, and wives.  The intent is to find encouragement and motivation, but I'm often left with an anxious and inadequate feeling.  I also love Pinterest!  I want to be every woman on Pinterest.  I want to cook every meal, make every craft, have every room in my house decorated just like the pictures on there, and do all the activities with Craig and Drew that it suggests.  What did I ever cook before it?  How did I plan a party before it?  How did I create memories before it?  Guess what?  Before Pinterest, my family never missed a meal (might not have always been appetizing), and we have made some of the sweetest memories.  My point is this--when I spend time trying to be the best at something, then I'm missing great opportunities to be the wife, mom, and woman God intended.  I find it hard to believe that when He created me, He said, "Wow, Carey will really reach her peak and be all I want her to be as soon as she discovers Pinterest!"  These expectations I put on myself just like I'm sure many other women do, are self-created or deemed "normal" in our society.  Last time I checked, God calls us to be different and not like everyone else anyway.  He also commands us to rely on Him for the strength to "reach our peak".  


     "I've been doing all that I can to hold it all together piece by piece. I've been feeling like a failure, trying to be braver than I could ever be.  It's just not me" are words from the song that I mentioned that I believe are at the core of most women.  Many women are tired, unfulfilled, and still searching for joy.  In our society, we often use the term "Superwoman" to describe women who do it all...or at least try to do it all.  These superwomen seem to have it all together: a perfectly decorated house, fresh baked cookies straight out of the oven, no messes, laundry up to date, has enough time to prepare dinner, saves stranded animals on the side of the road, and so on.  These things are possible with God's help but can sometimes be exhausting.  I decided to look up "Superwoman" and where she came from, and really just what her "story" is.  Here is what I found out and how I think it can apply to the Modern-day superwomen?  I know I'm using a comic character to make a point here but just go with it.  I find it so neat to learn that:


A. She wasn't born with super powers.  She gained them from a blood transfusion from Superman.  His power enabled her to act as Superwoman.  She was completely dependent on Him.  You and I have the opportunity to gain the Lord's power through His blood.  We can't be the wife, mom, or woman He intended if we don't have His power.  We must first believe in the blood He shed on the cross for us.  Through faith, we must rely and depend on Him only.  


B. After her creation, some fraudulent magicians cast a "spell" on her making her believe she was more powerful than she really was.  We have "fraudulent magicians" running around our towns, workplaces, sitting behind computer screens, social media, and even churches.  These things and even people give us a false hope that we are something or are supposed to be something that was not intended by our creator.  Her background says that Superwoman briefly sported the costume of Superman until she was eventually broken.  Of all that we are busy doing and trying to be, are we modeling His "wardrobe"?  Are we showing off His grace, mercy, love, patience, forgiveness, etc?  Or are we pretending?  My friends, we can only pretend for so long before we break.  Broken is a great place to be by the way.  Being broken means that someone, "our Superman" will be there to rescue us and pick up the pieces.  We need Him to be our King, our comfort, our Healer so that we can be free to be "us".   

C.   The powers she did receive, in all the stories, eventually faded.  All of the things, crafts, hobbies, tasks, etc. that we are busy with, that we think are fulfilling us, will fade.  Only one thing remains...His love.  His power.  His ability to take nothing and make something.  


D.  
During her adventures with her new powers, she was wooed by two super-humans and was captured.  We need to beware of those seeking to "woo" us.  Not just people but things too, obsessions.  What do you obsess over?  Don't let any obsession other than an obsession for God woo you because it will capture you.  When it captures you, your "superpowers" will eventually fade.  These situations have a funny way of humbling us and again bringing us to the place of complete dependence on Him.  


    My favorite words from the song are when she calls out for God to be her "mighty warrior".  What do all women, or at least the ones I run with, want?  We want to be rescued.  We want someone to fight for us and for our honor. Too many times we either try to fight our own fight and/or we focus our time and attention on someone who is incapable of fighting for us.  A warrior is brave, heroic, protective, and wild.  The God I serve is Wild at Heart (this is a book by John Eldredge all men and women should read, by the way).  Many times I look to my husband, Craig, to be my warrior.  If you know him, he is a fighter, a leader, and is passionate about God, football, and me...not necessarily in that order.  He would go to battle for me in a second.  He loves, well sometimes tolerates, it when I cry, bear my burdens, and express my need for him.  He has a warrior heart.  He fights and wins many battles for me but he is still human and as much as he tries, he'll never be the warrior that God is for me.  Our choir sings the song that reiterates, Isaiah 35:3-4 "Your God will Come.  Your God will come with a vengeance."  The God I serve, while meek and mild, He is passionate for me.  He wants to fight for me and longs for intimacy with me.  When there is nobody capable to fight for you, God is your warrior.  He is on the front lines protecting, serving, and defending you.  From Revelation 19 we are reminded that He is the Lord of hosts, the captain of the angel armies, and when Christ returns, He will be mounted on a white horse, with a double-edged sword, his robe dipped in blood.  There is something fierce about the heart of God.  

     Life can be overwhelming, especially during the holidays.  My encouragement to you is don't try to be a Superwoman.  Let God fill you with His Spirit and Power.  He will let you know what to do, when and how to do it.  Seek Him and He'll reveal Himself to you.  Let Him be your warrior.

Merry CHRISTmas



Monday, November 25, 2013

Connecting the dots...

    With the Thanksgiving holiday on the horizon, most of us are caused to stop long enough and share what we are thankful for.  No doubt that giving thanks and praise to our Lord should be a daily, many times daily, occurrence.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case because our daily routines and normalcy's of life are things we have come to expect, myself included.  This time of year is extra sweet and special at our house because it marks the anniversary date of which we received our first baby, Andrew.  We adopted him in October of 2011, so the feelings and emotions run wild this time of year as we so often look back to our placement day and our first holiday season with him.  Each year I write Drew a letter that we keep in a folder and will give him on his eighteenth birthday.  The letter usually includes the sweet memories of the past year, new things he has learned to do, as well as my favorite things about being his mom.  This year as I was trying to decide what to write to him, I kept coming back to the phrase, "God is so good."  I knew that if He never learns anything else from me, that is the one thing I want him to know.  So, I tried the best I could to tell him.       
     The morning of his second placement date I went for a run.  One of the songs that came on my ipod was "Mighty to Save".  I was brought to tears as I thought about how not only did He save me from my own self and an eternity without Him, but how He saved Drew.  Only God can take so many hearts from all over the country and knit them together the way he has ours, Drew's, and his sweet birth-mother's hearts.  Only God can open of the heart of a young girl to act in the most unselfish way by choosing a life for her baby boy that she knew he deserved a chance at but wasn't ready to give him.  Only God can use someone that fails Him daily and still allow her to serve Him every day.  Only God can love so much that He would choose me to be the mom of this sweet little treasure and what I believe is a little glimpse of Heaven.  He could have chosen anyone, but He chose me.  I have always known that Jesus loves me.  We sing about it as children, teach our kids to sing it, but do we truly know it and believe it?  The same God who created the moon and sun, healed the sick, walked on water, defeated death, and is alive today knows our names.  If you are still breathing and if you are reading this crummy blog right now, then He knows you, He loves you, and He has a plan for you.  He is so good!
     I am completely humbled and thankful at the fact that I could mean that much to anyone.  God has a plan for my sweet Drew and for me as his mom.  He didn't owe me a child, but somewhere in His vast plan He saw the two of us and knew we could accomplish so much more together than we could separately for His glory.  I can almost see Him looking down and drawing a line with His finger as if He was connecting the dots of our two faces.  Only God can do that.  God is looking down on you today and is connecting your "dot" with another...with many more "dots".  I am thankful as we all should be that God hasn't given up on us.  I'm thankful that His plan is far higher and better than I could ever dream.  Let Him be your God and guide...so you can just be the you that He so thoughtfully and purposefully made.